The past few weeks has had some real corkers for you in regards to this ongoing pantomime of a pandemic. As time goes on, we have gone from ridiculous to outright absurd. Here are some highlights from the past couple weeks.
1. Why Speaking English May Spread More Coronavirus Than Some Other Languages – Forbes
This all comes from the idea that certain languages have higher aspiration levels than others. The English language produces higher levels of aspiration than many others and therefore it’s suggested that English speakers may spread the virus quicker.
New research suggests that English speakers put more droplets into the air when they talk, which may make them more likely to spread COVID-19. Since the novel coronavirus is spread by droplets, how spitty a language is might contribute to different rates of the disease. – Forbes
Of course it’s nonsense, no data correlates this theory. But it does make for hilarious click-bait headlines that the mainstream media can fill their rags with.
2. New coronavirus mutation could be evolving to get around mask-wearing and hand-washing – The Telegraph
That’s right, that clever little SARS-CoV-2 virus may be mutating in such a way that masks and hand washing no longer works, scary stuff right!
Not really, there is no science to back this up, just scientists ‘suggesting’ it might happen. But again it does make for brilliant headlines.
Though it is a convenient theory to publish to explain why infection levels are not dropping when so-called effective masks have been mandated.
Covid-19 may have become more contagious as it has mutated, the largest genetic study carried out in the US into the virus has suggested, as scientists warn it could be adapting to interventions such as mask-wearing and social distancing – The Telegraph
3. People with psychopathic or narcissistic traits are less likely to follow face mask rules or obey lockdowns – The Dailymail
This is one of my favourite ones. What better way to promote mask wearing than suggesting that those that do not comply to such mandates are psychopaths and narcissists. Brilliant, playground name calling at it’s very best!
People with psychopathic and narcissistic personality traits are more likely to ignore coronavirus restrictions and to hoard food and toilet paper, research shows.
Two studies found people with the traits often flouted mask-wearing, hand-washing, social distancing and stay-at-home measures at the height of the pandemic.
The researchers believe this is because they either don’t believe the measures work or they don’t care about what effects ignoring them might have on others.
The studies, which surveyed 1,000 people in Poland, also found psychopathic and narcissistic people were far more likely to hoard essentials during lockdown. – The Dailymail
It obviously couldn’t have anything to do with intelligence, common sense and critical thinking.
4. Men Who Wear a Face Mask Are Sexier, According to U.S. Women – PRNewswire
Another goodie this one, in this really authentic and genuine survey taken by ladies in the US, it was concluded that men in masks are far sexier.
An August 2020 survey conducted by sexual wellness brand Royal revealed that 88 percent of adult women in the U.S. find men who wear a face mask in public during the COVID-19 pandemic sexier than those who do not. Perhaps more notable – this sentiment holds true, even for women who are currently in a relationship with a non-mask wearer. – PRNewswire
That’s right fellow men out there, if you are a non-mask wearer not only might you be a psychopath but your partner may have the hots for another dude, a mask wearing dude!
Some might call this media clickbait and page fillers, I call desperate propaganda to increase mask acceptance. But hilarious nevertheless!.
5. Singing ‘Happy Birthday’ Can Spread COVID, Says Study – The Dailymail
Who knew that Coronaviruses could be such party poopers. According to some media outlets singing ‘Happy Birthday’ increases the risk of spreading the virus. Don’t worry about the fact that you are all clearly together around a cake, which likely you are about to slice up and share amongst yourselves, no, it’s that bloody good cheer song!
To understand how many virus particles are emitted when we sing, researchers had 12 healthy singers and two people with Covid-19 sing into a funnel.
The study shows that singing – particularly loud and consonant-rich singing found in songs like Happy Birthday – spreads a lot droplets into the surrounding air. – The Dailymail
It’s recommended if you really do need to sing happy birthday, wear a mask. Because the whole family gathered around a cake singing happy birthday to a 6-year-old, while wearing masks isn’t creepy at all!
Oh please, give me strength – can it get any more ridiculous!
6. Try ‘glory holes’ for safer sex during coronavirus, B.C. CDC says – Global News
My question has been answered, indeed it can. Yes, you read the headline right, no this wasn’t ‘Fake News’ when it circulated back along and yes, it is the most ridiculous suggestion, though highly amusing, so far.
B.C. health officials are recommending an age-old, occasionally cutting-edge tactic for sex during the coronavirus pandemic: “glory holes.”
The B.C. Centre for Disease Control added new recommendations for socially distant sex to its COVID-19 website this week. One of those tips was to try using a “glory hole” — a hole cut into a wall that’s only large enough for a penis to slip through. – Global News
There is little else to say on this one. I’m done.
Have you heard any ridiculous pandemic news which you think is worth a mention, we’d love to keep a nice collection of this pantomime as evidence of just how ridiculous it all is. Future generations at the very least will have some entertaining comedy.
Leave your comments below.